When I was Fourteen

When I was fourteen

I thought I was cool
Because I had black hair,
And bright pink pants
And I knew a song called "Hash Pipe".

I thought he was my boyfriend
But any person who ignores you
and prefers somebody else
is not your boyfriend. No matter what he says.

I wanted to try drugs
But I had no idea where to find them
How much they cost
Or what kind of person they could have turned me into

I used to cut myself
Because he made me feel like shit
and I listened to metal
Because it drowned out my thoughts

I made a lot of mistakes
I should have kicked him out
But I let him stay
And I confused being used with being loved.

When I was eighteen

I had somebody new
He noticed me and made me happy
I knew all the words to "Hash Pipe"
And I even saw the band in concert.

I had learned from fourteen's mistakes.