I'm going to a party tonight.
Like, a real party. With old classmates. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about this.
My boyfriend says it's nice that I got invited, which I agree with. It wasn't like everyone hated me in high school; just a few kids here and there. I think I'm excited to go. My cousin sent a huge box of her old clothes to me, and I've always liked getting hand-me-downs from her. So I've got a wide selection of party clothes to choose from, some coolers in the fridge, and some new found confidence that I didn't have during high school.
I know a couple of my friends are going. The only thing that makes me nervous is whether or not a few individuals might be there. I mean, any drama I had with them was two years ago now, and I'm over it, so I assume that they are, too. I just don't like having to face somebody that I had problems with in the past, you know? Especially when no amends were really made. But I'm sure everything will go well. I would hope that everyone is a little more mature now than we were two years ago, and with that in mind, I sit down and write, wondering if I should wear the snakeskin-looking pants later tonight, or the tan skinny jeans I'm wearing right now. I know there's no pressure for me to look my best, but at the same time, I kind of want to show everyone that I am not the same person they knew back in school.
I want people to see how I really am. I keep telling myself, "You're not a mouse, you're a lioness!". I'm trying to build myself up to be confident and strong tonight. I'm not going to be shy, I'm not going to hide from anything, and most of all, I'm going to be brave.
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